The Eve Factor

Listening - With Mind, Body and Spirit

Although women are often characterized as nonstop talkers, they actually have the innate skills to be rapt listeners because they are shameless about using their minds, hearts, eyes and intuition to hear. Chapter 4 of The Eve Factor relates the stories of three women who used very different methods of listening in their crusades to tackle the complexities of life.

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Joan of Arc, led by internal counsel to the actions that made her a military heroine and French martyr, is now the symbol of French nationalism. Even as a girl of thirteen in 1425, standing under a beech tree in her back yard Joan heard voices that told her what to do. Although she was ultimately burned at the stake for her choices, her internal guide inspired her to lead an army and help crown a king before she died. Translated into use in the sales process, intuition is often a better guide to the truth than logic or words; it is almost foolproof when making tossup decisions. The chapter explores specific ways to process intuition to confirm the reliability of its directions.

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Women possess natural instincts that heighten their observation skills, allowing them to read between the lines of spoken words. No one exemplifies this interpretation of body language better than Jane Goodall who has documented sophisticated communication between chimpanzees. Soon after discovering that they have individual personalities and understood the use of tools, Goodall began christening the chimpanzees she followed. She even took cues from chimp mothers when she began raising her own infant son. The chapter uses Goodall's amazing African experiences while describing and analyzing common gestures that send unsaid messages to the observant listener.

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Women's legitimate sense of curiosity causes them to comfortably ask questions, and unabashedly probe for more information. The life of Helen Keller recounts myriad situations when, without sight or hearing, she was able to employ her other senses to make astute observations of those around her. With courage and an insatiable hunger for knowledge, she used her fingers to read lips, catch the vibrations of the throat and the expressions of the face to ultimately say her first stumbling sentence, "It is warm". The chapter celebrates Helen Keller's ceaseless quest for communication as it explores listening techniques that lead to real understanding.

When have intuition, body language, skillful questioning or silence helped you uncover the full intent of the message being sent to you? What was the ultimate result?

Author's postscript: I learned a great lesson in selecting photos for the women in this chapter. Joan of Arc is alone, even headless, in her photo because the words she heard came from voices inside. However, in the photos of Jane Goodall and Helen Keller, there are others in the photos - a chimp and Anne Sullivan - emphasizing to me that rapt listening requires intense focus on the entity sending the message.

Communication - Finding the Words That Work

Various elements of communication are the focus of Chapter 6 of The Eve Factor. Verbal or written, subtle or blatant, words that serve as a call to action are integral to the sales process.

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The chapter opens with the story of fiery Argentinean Eva Peron who progressed from a small part in a provincial school play to become a powerful orator, rousing thousands of her countrymen to implement reforms in the lives of women and the working class. As First Lady of Argentina in 1946, Eva began using her personal charisma to secure backing for her husband Juan, as well as to promote her own interests and power. She died at age thirty-three leaving a controversial legacy that describes her as saint, revolutionary or whore, depending on who is telling her story. Using Peron as inspiration, the chapter teaches how to deliver effective presentations from the unexpected impromptu speech to the formal presentation before a large audience.

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Catherine the Great used the power of conversation to transform Russia from a struggling country to a world power in the 16th Century. Her introduction of new ideas through books and education ensured that her countrymen were ready for change when in fits of "legislomania" she issued her royal decrees. Her impact on Russia is remarkable in that she was German-born and later adopted the language and culture of the French. It is said that, "Catherine gave laws with one hand and did needlepoint with the other". The chapter explores her subtle efforts to implant thoughts into the minds of others, making her one of history's most powerful female leaders.

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American Eleanor Roosevelt grew up in a conventional upper-class environment, never expecting to be anything other than daughter or wife. However, when she became First Lady in 1932, she traveled around the country garnering attention for her own projects, giving lectures, radio broadcasts and editing her own daily newspaper column. She fought for freedom of speech, racial equality and equal rights for women, drafting the Declaration of Human Rights in 1948. Using Roosevelt's examples of encouraging women to make a place for themselves in the workplace, the chapter defines gender specific methods of communication that can either enhance or undermine a woman's authority.

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The chapter closes with the story of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo who used both the visual arts and the written word to influence the people and the politics around her. Frida most frequently painted self-portraits, leaving a small but carefully controlled legacy of her own emotional torment and her yearning for immortality. Her diary, too, using colorful text and lively illustrations, recorded her political sensibilities and her stormy relationship with her husband Diego Rivera, Mexico's most famous artist. Kahlo's creative efforts epitomize the way intense focus on one's persona can be a powerful personal P.R. tool. Her example is a potent one for women who are reluctant to brag about themselves; even those who are not passionate about art are familiar with "the women with the eyebrows".

Describe a situation when you employed a communication style that was an influential call to action. What did you achieve?

Relationship Building - Make Yourself Irresistible

Every person with any experience in sales agrees that the majority of buying decisions are based on relationships. Chapter 3 of The Eve Factor explores techniques to polish relationship-building skills so you become the irresistible first choice of the buyer, whatever you are selling. Three exalted women are used as examples because their finely honed skills allowed them to connect with the masses on a a seemingly intimate level.

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The one-on-one relationship building skills of Mary Kay Ash are legendary. Her legacy, Mary Kay Cosmetics, is a company of one million cosmetic entrepreneurs who each built her own business based on the belief that Mary Kay took a personal interest in her individual success. The chapter expounds on her quote, "Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around her neck that says, 'Make me feel important.' Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life. Her life itself was the homework required for the relationships she built, and excerpts from her biography reinforce how her own experience prepared her to wield the influence she used to build a $2 billion company.

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Diana, Princess of Wales, was able to reach out to others in a way that made them trust her implicitly. The worldwide media attention she received when she graciously removed her gloves to shake hands with AIDS sufferers is symbolic of how body language speaks of our intentions louder than our words. The chapter uses Diana's life in philanthropy to demonstrate how trust and credibility are built through actions. Sub-conscious messages that you send, as well as those you should note in others, are described in detail.

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Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis was once known to say, "Just call me Jackie...that ghastly name", and indeed, the entire world complied. Universally known by her nickname in a variety of adaptations - JBK, Jackie O - she had a knack for charming people. Commenting on her reception during a 1963 trip, her husband, then U.S. President Jack Kennedy said, "I am the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to France." Those who engaged her in conversation during large White House gatherings remarked that when she spoke to them, her eyes never wandered to see if someone more important had entered the ballroom. The chapter translates her renowned popularity into techniques for developing commonality, and traces the impact she made with her personal handwritten correspondence.

Describe efforts that have been especially meaningful for you in building relationships with your customers.

Persuasion - The Essence of Getting What You Want

Although Eve is best known as the woman made from Adam's rib in the the book of Genesis in the Bible, there are many subsequent literary interpretations of her. In most versions of creation, Eve is a knowledge-seeking temptress who uses her charms and an apple to persuade Adam to take the bite that changed the course of humanity.

In today's world, this same use of reward is prevalent as a means of persuasion. We are deluged by common options like "gift with purchase", "buy 2/get 1 free", "free airline miles/double airline miles"...the list goes on and on. Parents use this tactic with children very effectively; however, the liabilities surface quickly: the reward becomes expected, then it's not enough, and it becomes quite costly.

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Consider Lady Godiva and her legendary ride in the nude. Frustrated with her husband, the earl of Mercia, for mercilessly taxing the inhabitants of Coventry, and responding to his own outlandish proposal, Godiva mounted a charger and rode through the marketplace completely unclothed. The humbled earl was indeed persuade to lift all taxes on the citizenry except those for keeping horses.

Godiva used two powerful tools of persuasion. The first is limited options - the earl had no real choice since it had been his idea in the first place. The second is time pressure - she had him under the gun to act immediately. Both of the tactics were effective because Godiva did not take the threat idly and was quite prepared to follow-through with the ride, her modesty maintained by her flowing hair.

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Carry Nation took an entirely opposite approach in her colorful battle against evil alcohol. Having married a man who soon died from alcoholism, 6' tall Carry had a vision that instructed her to use a hatchet to smash saloons to smithereens, forcing them to close. She worked her way across the country striking fear into the hearts of saloonkeepers using her 200 pounds of fury, her hatchet and her powerful way with words.

Fear is an extremely persuasive tactic because people don't want to make a mistake, they don't want to be embarrassed, they don't want to lose and they don't want to get hurt. All of these possibilities, skillfully suggested, can be helpful in swaying a decision. Carry's miniature hatchets engraved with "Carry Nation - Joint Smasher" were the forerunners of today's commonly used specialty advertising leave-behinds, and just one more reminder of her fanatical goal.

Persuasion methods are as individual as the situation and the people involved. What has worked for you?

The 3 R's - Research

The 3 R's are Research, Rehearsal and Risk, the three elements key to moving you smoothly through the sales process. The formula alerts you to the questions you should constantly ask yourself: 1. Have I done the appropriate Research to make myself knowledgeable? 2. Have I Rehearsed my presentation so I am smooth and comfortable in my delivery, and 3. Am I committed to taking the Risk involved in this step of the process?

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The first R, Research, is illustrated by the life of Marie Curie whose story of defeats as well as success shows how the power of research brings both fame and scandal.

To truly understand the needs of a client, and the options available to them, research is the required preparation for each step of the sales process. Marie Curie, the unapproachable genius who became the only woman ever to win two Nobel Prizes, reached her elevated status through her research in the field of radioactivity. She made the notable discoveries working on a dissertation for her PhD in a makeshift lab outside her husband Pierre's school. Together they experimented on themselves with doses of radiation, having disastrous impact on their health. In tune to her own principles in all aspects of her life, Curie maintained highly documented notebooks for each of her daughters until they were well into their teens. And the detailed diaries she kept of her retreat into a love affair with a married fellow scientist, when stolen by the wronged wife, caused a scandal that almost cost her the second Nobel Prize.

Marie Curie is a wonderful example of a woman's excelling in a male-dominated field of research; and her quote from the late 1800's is still very relevant to the value of research in any field. She said, "Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood."

How has research affected your sales efforts?

The 3 R's - Risk

The 3 R's are Research, Rehearsal and Risk, the three elements key to moving you smoothly through the sales process. The formula alerts you to the questions you should constantly ask yourself: 1. Have I done the appropriate Research to make myself knowledgeable? 2. Have I Rehearsed my presentation so I am smooth and comfortable in my delivery, and 3. Am I committed to taking the Risk involved in this step of the process?

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The third R, Risk, is represented by Amelia Earhart, the sky pioneer who paved the way for women in aviation.

It is the element of risk in sales that causes some women not to try, and continues to exhilarate those who succeed. It begins with finding the courage to make the original prospecting call all the way to asking the hard questions at the close of the sale. Amelia Earhart set so many piloting records and broke so many stereotypes about women that her place in history was assured even before her plane disappeared over the Pacific. Selected for her first role as a trans-Atlantic airplane passenger because she was an attractive women, she became even more determined to pilot a plane across the ocean herself. Memories of her first solo flight across the Atlantic include photos of her talkng to Irish farm folk after finally landing in their pasture. Throughout her life, whether it was coping with rough family times or low expectations of women, Earhart demonstrated grace in the face of adversity and an ironclad determination to overcome whatever stood in her way.

Prior to her final flight, she wrote, "Please know I am quite aware of the hazards. I want to do it because I want to do it. Women must try to do things as men have tried. When they fail, failure must be but a challenge to others."

When has the risk you took been worth the reward?  Or not??

The 3 R's - Rehearsal

The 3 R's are Research, Rehearsal and Risk, the three elements key to moving you smoothly through the sales process. The formula alerts you to the questions you should constantly ask yourself: 1. Have I done the appropriate Research to make myself knowledgeable? 2. Have I Rehearsed my presentation so I am smooth and comfortable in my delivery, and 3. Am I committed to taking the Risk involved in this step of the process?

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The second R is Rehearsal, illustrated by the story of Gypsy Rose Lee. Rose Louise, who had her first brush with fame at age one when she won a healthy baby contest, practiced her way into show biz legend when her best selling memoir became a Broadway smash.

Presenting a product or a service is like acting - the more creative and smooth that you are in your communication, the more appealing your product will be. Nothing works to achieve a comfort zone more than role-play and practice. Gypsy Rose Lee who performed in a vaudeville routine with her sister June from the time she was 8 years old, joined the striptease troupe at Minsky's Burlesque in New York when she was 17. She developed a sophisticated song style to accompany her suggestive, teasing dancing and achieved widespread fame - a first for a Burlesque star. Her continued rehearsal on her singing and dancing allowed her to transfer her act to the legitimate Broadway stage when she played in the Ziegfeld Follies in 1936.

Although there are many stories of actresses achieving success through honing their craft, I love the story of Rose Louise Hovick because she took herself so far, ultimately having her autobiography adapted for the stage as the musical comedy Gypsy.

Has rehearsal had a positive affect on your sales performance?

Etiquette - A Code for Business Interaction

Just prior to writing her 650-page book on etiquette, Emily Post said, "The whole subject can be reduced to a few simple rules." Thus in 1922, she created her pragmatic guide to manners that has as much relevance today as it did to the blue bloods of the time.

Chapter 2 of The Eve Factor tells the story of Emily Post, complete with examples of her irreverent sense of humor, and illuminates her sensible advice that the comfortable thing was almost always the most correct. The chapter covers today's biggest business etiquette blunders, the rampant misuse of technology, and common examples that "show selfish want of consideration" for associates in the business world.

The chapter also explores mealtime etiquette, including the truth about exalted childhood admonitions like "keep your elbows off the table", and suggestions on what to do if you spill red wine on the white damask tablecloth at a formal business dinner.

Emily Post's advice was "make the other person comfortable and you will exhibit the epitome of good manners."

Do you have a traumatic experience to share that could be helpful to others?

Image - The Disguise That Defines You

Coco Chanel, upon hearing statements she had made in an interview about her own life said, "But that sounds like a novel."

Throughout her life, believing that clothing was a disguise to be used to project a desired image, Chanel simply transformed herself into the person she needed to be to achieve her goals. Along the way, chameleon-like, she was chanteuse, horsewoman, milliner, courtesan, businesswoman and couturiere. Always a savvy self-promoter, the exterior persona she presented to the world was the image that maintained her self-esteem and helped her become the Grande Mademoiselle of fashion.

Using her story, Chapter 1 of The Eve Factor validates dressing to present an image of ourselves that will pave the way for our sales success.

By strategically designing our image, we are not abandoning our personal values - merely reflecting the commonality upon which to build a future relationship with our prospects.

Do you agree?

Please help me write my book:

  The Eve Factor - Sales Secrets from History's Most Persuasive Women

The Eve Factor is a book designed to both teach and motivate women to sell. Why Eve? Whether you believe that she was good or evil, there is no question that Eve was persuasive, using nothing more than an apple to get Adam to take the bite that changed the plight of mankind. There are many other fascinating women in history, none trained as sales people, who nevertheless changed the course of the world through their passion and drive to achieve their goals. A look at the little known facts from those fascinating biographies, coupled with precise lessons on the science of making a sale, results in a book that is both instructional and inspirational. It is an adventure that is sure to challenge those women who underestimate and under utilize their powerful gifts of persuasion to polish their skills and start selling their ideas. After all, women have been sales pros for centuries!

Where do you come in?

I have known many powerful women in sales who exemplify these skills. To make The Eve Factor truly helpful, giving examples of their use in current situations will translate history into "how to" action steps for readers. You have lived to tell stories that should be included as "it can happen to you, too" anecdotes so your legacy is passed on to those striving to become memorable modern day sales professionals.